"Welcome to Japan, folks. The local time is . . . tomorrow."
- from 30 Minutes Over Tokyo, The Simpsons, Season 10

Friday, July 22, 2011

To My Kitty

Dear Kitty:

I do not like your house guests, kitty cat.
I do not.
I do not like them of the flying variety.
Nor of the crawling variety.
I do not like it when they land on my head.
Now I need a shower, yes I do.
I do not like it when they poop on my pillow.
Now I need to wash it, yes I do.
I do not care if you're stuck in the bathroom
while I get your guests to leave.
I do not.

Say, I do like it when your house guests return home.
Yes, I do.

Kitty, kitty when will you learn
I do not like your house guests anywhere?
Not in my living room.
Not in my dining room.
Not in my hallway.
Not in my kitchen.
I do not like them anywhere.

Perched on a box.
Flying above my head.
Stuck in my hair.
I do no like them anywhere.

Kitty, kitty
I do not care
How much you meow.
How much you beg,
I will not let you out of the bathroom
Till your guest is safe at last.

Say, kitty cat
I do like it when your house guests
Can be caught.
Can go home.
Can be free.


Sorry, I read Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham to my two-year-old yesterday, so it's been stuck in my head.

It doesn't help that my kitty's had such a fondness for bringing in house guests lately. The most recent being a bat last night and another bird this morning.

This years totals include:
3 bats
6 birds - 4 nestlings, 1 fledgling, 1 adult
2 chipmunks
2 rabbits

I think these last two were brought in because the heat wave we were having finally broke. He brought in a chipmunk last Sunday morning. (Which made me forget to grab my friend's son's birthday present. That wasn't a big because we just got him his first d20 as a stand in gift.) Then we had such a high heat index with it being up in the 100s to 110s (I can't say for certain since I didn't pay that close attention) that our kitty lounged in the air conditioning with the rest of us. Last night was his first chance to get back outside.

I love my kitty.

I just wish he didn't have such a fondness for bringing in guests.

And I know at one point I told my husband it wouldn't be so bad if our kitty ate some of the animals he caught, but I think I've changed my stance on that too. Especially when we got back from the drive-in and had to mop our floor.

Of course in the middle of mopping the floor and trying not to throw up from the blood, I thought of my vampire novel where Ayako finds her first dead body in the lounge car. In the original draft I had it that she didn't throw up. After all, it's just a dead body, right? And since she was a biology student, she had her share of dead bodies she needed to dissect.

Then I was mopping up the blood.

This was after my husband told me not to look, that he would throw away the parts. All I needed to do was mop the floor.

And maybe it has something to do with the fact that it was once a cute bunny that now had it's entrails strewn about my dining room floor (at least the kitty ate in the right room and didn't take his dinner onto the carpet or hide it in the basement), but yeah, now I just need to think about all the little details of that night to conjure up that same reaction.

When looking at the body, I had Ayako think of it as a painting. And to an extent, it is a work of morbid art. But then, I was thinking, you know, if I can get this sick to my stomach over one little bunny, how is Ayako gonna react to a human? Yeah, about the only thing she has going for her is that she doesn't have to worry about cleaning up the mess.

So, yes kitty, thank you for giving me those experiences to make my writing more realistic.

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